My Blog

Time reli flies… chinese new year is just around the corner and tis is the 2^nd yr I m celebrating alone here in this cold town of

Czech republic

.. sitting in front of my pc writing tis boring blog… reli miss the cny mood back at home.. busy cleaning up the house, baking cakes and cookies, trying out new recipie perhaps and going shopping for new year delicacies.. those were the times I muz say.. rite now being in overseas, I reli cant feel the cny mood coz not only there r not much Chinese around (almost NIL) and worst there r jz a few msian Chinese (can be counted using one of

ur

hand) so wats the point of cny anyway? Plus there r still ppl sitting for their finals (but thank god I finish mine before jan ends haha)… sigh… reli miss the reunion dinner where I was busy like hell doing last minute touch up in everything and when nite comes every1 will sit around having our reunion dinner.. eating our fav dishes like SHARK FIN SOUP!! Haha.. when can I ever celeb cny again? Being alone here reli makes the cny mood so dull (almost none) nonetheless I still celeb thru my own way haha.. bought cashew nuts, cookies, cake, snacks, fish, chicken, coke and luckily I found longitivity noodles!! (even tho its japaese n it costs me so much for a 100g) but doesn’t matter coz I wanna celeb my own cny alone here.. but how bout visitng? Sigh… tat I cant help myself haha reli miss visitng frens n relatives.. catching up wif each other and trying out their cake n cookies of coz.. haha.. cny..cny… its ok even tho theres no1 to celeb wif me, I still can celeb alone… tho its not fun n pathetic still I wanna make myself happy by celeb cny by my own way haha…

life is so unfair i must say.. y cant i jz get sth tat i wan? i nvr ask for too much coz i know i put in a lot of effort for tat particulat sth tat i wish for but y god nvr grant my wish even once? i reli doubted my luck sometimes.. even tho life i so unfair i still pray and hope tat 1 day my prayers will be heard and b granted.. but i guess some ppl r jz being v lucky of getting wateva things that they aim for.. which is superb i must say but can i myself at least have tat chance for once in my life? even since coming here, everthing seems to go wrong.. life without family and frens around to support sucks.. by frens i mean real frens who accept the way u are and support u no matter wat and nvr ever think of stabbing u frm behind o jz use u out of sth..ppl come and pass by in my life but how many ppl can reli leave a footprint in my heart? i think not many.. there r jz too many fakers out there trying to gain sth frm u..

ok valentines is near and i guess most of my frens will be crushing their mind thinking of wat gift is the best but thank go i dun hav that prob.. haha.. well net love vs real relationship.. is there any difference? net love is just so illusional and illogical as ppl can jz talk crap and bluff all the way thru coz its a dimensionless and borderless world.. whoever considered bf o gf on net, r they reli tat sincere? maybe they even hav their real bf o gf and they r jz fooling around on the net out of boredom.. but then again i mustnt judge anything since i never reli had a serious net love nor a real relationship before… sigh… so pathetic but i am glad tat i dun have to think of so much prob when it comes to realtionship but once in a while i still imagine of having a real and stable relationship rather than just some illusional o out of fun relationship LoL

the famous drama series "FRIENDS" had always been my favourite and top listed favourite of all time. sometimes i reli wish my life wud be like tat, having good frens around thru my ups and downs. having lived for 22 yrs (almost), i realise that there are diff kinds of frens and indeed friendship is not as simple as i think after all. some frens whom i tot were my best frens o buddies, after some times will turn against my back. some frens whom are my best frens suddenly become a stranger in my life after a fight or quarrel. wat is F.R.I.E.N.D.S reli means? will there be 6 reli close frens having great time together and the firendship ll last forever even there are triumphs which we need to face once in a while? sometimes i reli envy those 6 superb characters in the series and i reli wish that i can have great time like they did. but tats just acting i must say. sigh.. rite now i hav come to a certain age whereby i started to think and set aback when making frens. shud i put in a lot of effort o not? coz sometimes i think i m just wastingm y time and energy on some frens at the end of the days.. some ppl are just meant to be classmates, some ppl are jz meant to be schoolmates o coursemates o jz some1 we know.. time makes us to be more mature and gains lesson from our mistakes and i m glad that i m finally no longer tat childish to believe that every1 is having a pure heart in making frens.. i used to be straight forward and now when i come to think of it, i t is extremely stupid coz not every1 i met and know are sincere enuf.. so the lesson which i gain is tat those who r willing to be frens (even after graduate o aorking) i will welcome them wif open arms but for those who just wanna talk to u when they r bored o watsoever, i rather just say "please talk to my hand!"

life is hard… i know i m not the most perfect guy.. i m neither a goog guy nor a good fren.. and i know i will never be one…i  had tried my very best to be the best guy ever but it seems like tat is still not enuf… i had changed a lot as day passes by.. i learnt from my mistakes and try hard to b better but the thing is no one is perfect in tis world… i m glad tat i have frens who can accept me the way i m… they love me andtreasure me as soe1 unique… not soe bambi who is expected to be used over and over again…

i m so tired of pleasing every1 in tis world as i oly learn the fact tat the more we try to please th more others ll expect frm us..

i m so sick of all tis frenship thing and i dun give a damn anymore… i m proud enough to say i have a circle of frens who treat me so nicely and accept all my pros and cons

so if u r irritated o uappy with me… jut tell me and i ll leave u alone… i m not the type of guy who ll keep on bugging people’s life if i know they dislike me

as simple as tat… i m just so tire rite nw and i hav a lot o other problems to worry about

if u cant accept the way i am… then dn bother making frens with me then….

i m sorry for those who did irritated by me before but 1 thing i must say… did u ever check on urself before u go chooting at other ppl???

at least i m proud enuf to now all my weakness and bad side and i had been trying hard to change but its reli not tat easy as changing clothes….

if we can change tat easiy then tis world ll only be filled by good samaritans then!

so to evryone in my list

just leave me a msg

i promise i ll not bother r life… i swear!!

well… i had made up my mind.. i wont move out..why shud i be mr nice guy and move out? i will just stay here since i m the one who spend my time searching for houses while U DID TH AND JZ STUDY!!!!!!! i dun care anymore… i think i m jz too stupid keep on thinking bout ur feeling rite now i dun even give a damn anymore!!! i m jz too stupid all tis while.. if u cant stand me then u move out urself since logically tis house belongs to me and nt urs!!! u din contribute anything at all!

well… i reli cant get it up until the time i m moving out. all tis while i tot tat we r frens ever since from college but i think i m totally wrong after all. u nvr treat me as a fren. u jz treat me as a cometitor to beat and tats all wat i mean to u. i reli cant get it ppl like u can have frens if u treat every1 the way u treated me. perhaps i wont know tis truth if i din study in the same uni wif u rite now. i owez tot of u as some1 who is nice and i can share my stuff wif but rite now i jz feel as i m a total idiot. do u noe how much i suffer ever since i move in wif u? espeially wif ur kiasuness until the extreme tat sometimes i jz feel like running away from the house. i think u r v sure coz i were nvr at home. so let me tell u the reason.. its bcoz of u. at 1st i still can stand u and ur bullshit attitude but days pass by, i reli get so fucking fed up till i jz wann run away and do u noe how much i suffer and my study deteriote a lot? i know u r extremely happy to c me fall but is tat wat it means as a fren? let me tell u sth.. we r now in uni no longer in secodary school… if u still act so chidishly tat u wanna bring every1 down.. then i have th to say bot u anymore. and the way u act blur is the thing i hate the most… jz stop wif ur fakeness pls… everytime we said we r going to do sumthing together in the morning, then u ll study till morning and end up we r the one who finish everything… how dare u!! if u dun wanna do it just say so!!!!!!!!!! wat the fuck!!!!!!!!!!! there r lots and lots and lots more to say but i dun wanna spoil u here.. i jz wanna tell u tat we r no longer frens anymore and rite nw i jz treat u as my classmateand tats it!

one mre thing the main reason i move out is bcoz u spoil my name too much till i feel like i jz dun wanna hav anything to do wif u rite now!!! how dare u tell people  ll cheat in exam!!!! wat the fuck!!!! we were not even in the same lecture hall and for ur information i m in czech lecture hall so how can i cheat? jz bcoz ur lecture hall ( all international students) cheat u jz assum and tell every1 i cheat…. how could u?!!!!!!!!!!!! if say in the right way… i shud be the 1 telling ppl tat u cheat coz of all the lecture hall only ppl fom ur lecture hall cheat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! rite now i even guess tat u cheat as well!!!!!!!!!! fuck u!!!!!!!